I have been musing on two topics of grave concern today. The first is the Christmas Turkey. The second involves creatures of my own fair breed, the Staffordshire Bull Terrier. I shall deal with the latter issue first. When I first came to live in this little town with my partner, there was ONE Staffordshire Bull Terrier in the community:- me. Recent months have seen an alarming proliferation in the number of Staffords. My partner, Maisie and I were attempting to reckon up the current total. It is eight (excluding me). Eight!! Where did they all come from? There is Harvey (I was his mentor when he was a pup, now he just annoys me), Jazz, Shylock, Buster, Dudley, two whose names I do not know and now the beautiful Latté. Fortunately, I am the only black and white one and still the most attractive, so my crown remains firmly in place. But something strange is going on.
Speaking of dear, sweet Latté though, my partner has seen her mysterious handsome owner twice more since our initial encounter. The first time he was conversing on his mobile 'phone so just waved to her, but the second time he offered her a bone for me. My partner doesn't like me having bones as they splinter and cut me and I always get the trots after consuming one, so she politely declined - but I think there is a flicker of interest in that department. It is all to no avail currently, however, her heart is not yet free to offer love. I won't even mention him, but she has to go to his place of work on Monday to borrow a pirate costume (I shall explain next week) and an encounter may ensue. If I shake my head over this business any more it may fall off and roll away, so I shall merely raise my eyes heavenwards and wish for happier times.
And now I turn with bristling whiskers to my first topic of concern: the Christmas Turkey. My partner has been on the telephone to a farm shop, frequented in previous festive seasons, and ordered our special turkey. My problem is this: she has ordered a turkey weighing 14lb - 16lb. All well and good - a generous size. But what will she and her family eat on December 25th? It pierces my soul to think of them going hungry...