Wednesday 13 June 2007

I return!!

I have had a lovely holiday in Wales and have very much missed keeping up to date with my blog. I have actually been back for a few days now, but my partner has been too busy and too tired to lift me into the typing chair. It is mostly because I threatened her with a fang that I am sitting here now.

It took us a long time to get to Wales, longer than we thought, and I managed to be fast asleep for the best bit of the journey - when we went over the Severn Bridge (for the princely toll of £5.10; a travesty). My partner did try to wake me, but I was well-gone and could do no more than grunt. I did see it on the way back though. Very nice, but I think I preferred the bridge at Dartford (which only cost £1). We were staying in the very appropriately-named St. Dogmael's, which was just a couple of miles from the most amazing beach I have ever seen. It is called Poppit Sands and is perfect for chaps like me. Miles of smooth, clean sand, no stinky, fishy, rotting seaweed smell, plenty of sand dunes to explore, no tourist-tat shops and the cleanest, clearest sea water I have ever seen. Here is a picture:

Oh yes.

It is completely dog-friendly, all year 'round, which pleases me. A lot of beaches these days are increasingly doggist. I can understand that some idiot partners with brains like pebbles don't clear up their hounds' excretions, which is a dreadful thing, especially on beaches where human pups play, but it works well in Poppit. As soon as I laid a dog-egg, my partner harvested it and put it in a shiny red receptacle: everyone's happy.

I met some very friendly dogs and their people, and my partner was happily diverted on our first visit by chatting with two hunky kite-surfers while I frolicked nearby. I did notice that they were wearing wet suits for their hobby though - a real man like me goes commando. Perhaps my partner felt sorry for them. She was certainly very perky all of a sudden.

I will share more tales of Poppit and the rest of my holiday in the blog entries that follow. I must confess to you today though - I have had to rethink my opinions towards my former nemesis, Ewan. I went prepared to continue my hostility towards him, but instead was compelled to forgive him for his numerous crimes against my person. I shall tell you why. The pup (now just two years old) has been learning more words in my absence and, upon my arrival, presented me with the words he has learned in reference to me. And these were: "Jasper", "Tail", "Doggie" and "Nice". Bless him. How can I strive against that level of cuteness?

Speaking of nemesis, I have not seen much of the Buzzard since his treachery was unmasked. In fact I have only seen him once, and that was not at Abbotstone. My partner and I were taking a long circuit-walk of around six miles that we like to do sometimes. Two-thirds of the way round it started to spot with rain and my partner wasn't feeling very well, so we took a short cut back to the car through a field. Halfway across the field, there sat the Buzzard in a tall tree. He was surrounded by a gaggle of mangy crows, who were clearly only hanging around him to make themselves look hard. As I neared, the Buzzard muttered sumething and there was a smattering of coarse, rasping laughter from the crows. As soon as I got to the foot of the tree though, his false courage deserted him and he winged it, closely followed by his gaggle of hench-crows. And I haven't seen him since. Thus is the way of ALL bullies - they are cocky enough when dealing out the goods but as soon as a little bit is meted back to them, they can't handle it and run (or fly) off quicker than a cheetah with the runs. Ha!

I am pleased to see that AOL has made it much easier to put pictures in blog entries, thus making my life so much happier. I have been able to put in the picture I wanted on my entry for 10 May, which was initally the source of much frustration. It also means that I have no hesitation in offering you the second part of my all-new series, Jasper's Famous People of England. Here we go:



I shall let you know whether I achieved my holiday aims next time!

For now, good night.