Thursday 19 April 2007

You will have to forgive me - I am using tonight's blog entry to send a special message to a special someone.

To the "person" who vandalised my little green Corsa while I was enjoying myself at Abbotstone with my partner, I say this: I hate you. I hate you with a deep, passionate and unquenchable loathing. That is all.

It started out as a lovely day. My partner has been forced to take sick leave due to her deteriorating health, so I have the joy of her company all day. Today, we decided to take advantage of the sunshine to have a peaceable stroll at Abbotstone. Perhaps the Buzzard may have cared to commence my flying lessons? A particularly joyous moment came when, en route to Abbotstone, my partner stopped the car by an easily-accessible part of the river. I plunged in and found myself face to face with the swan! An exchange of words, feathers and fur took place and I am happy to say that I won this one. The swan took off smartish and flew over the river in a wide circle, shouting abuse as he went. As he flew back towards me, he was so busy looking at my gloating face that he wasn't watching where he was going and he collided with a telephone line. Heh heh - unfortunately he wasn't hurt - he just grunted a swear-word and flew off, but I laughed so hard that a little bit of wee came out.

Another bonus found its way to me at Abbotstone. In the big field, we happened upon around twenty members of the deer herd - all hinds and NO stags! Yes!! I gave stealthy chase until I had had enough. Upon moving towards the field exit, I met a nice couple enjoying a picnic. They gave me half a sandwich and a cup of tea. Lovely.

And then we went back to the car.

No-one was about, but the picnicker's car had had its rear window smashed in and the driver's door damaged. My partner ran to tell the unfortunate folk of their misfortune, privately grateful that HER window had not been smashed. I waited by the car and instantly spotted a gaping hole in the driver's door of my Corsa. Bugger.

My partner quickly returned with the couple - the lady was distraught and in tears - and I led her to the damage on our car. My partner said some very rude words, and I barked in agreement. Someone had used professional tools to try and cut out the lock of my Corsa. The ne'er-do-wells had obviously been disturbed and so legged it, probably smashing the other car's window in frustration. Nothing had been taken from either car, fortunately. Well, the driver's door cannot be locked, unlocked or even opened now, so my partner has to get in my side and slide across. We drove straight to the police station and now we are waiting for forensic officers to come and fingerprint the car. My partner had an appointment at the hospital which had to be cancelled because of this. Her insurance excess is £100, which she hasn't got, and there goes her carefully accumulated no-claims bonus. She is very cross, and really too ill to be cross, and I am even more cross than the most cross person ever when he's really, really cross. To cap it all, we have to use the garage that the insurers dictate, which is in bl**dy Liphook, an hour's drive from here! And our own usual garage is at the end of our street! Gnyaaaaargh!

And if I EVER get my paws on the worthless little runts that did this to my car and upset me and my partner, I will take their professional cutting equipment and shove it right up between the lips they never kiss with. Let this serve as a warning.

Good night.