Thursday 22 February 2007

I am not very pleased. How many of those pancakes do you think I managed to eat? 17? 25? 54? No. 0. Because that's precisely how many were cooked for me. My explicit instrustions were deliberately ignored and, once again, I had to go without. My partner gave me a piece of her pancake, but it was not much bigger than a dewclaw. How can I survive on that? I am becoming a shadow of my former self and the injustice stings my soul. I was very angry indeed with my partner's mother's betrayal and was almost minded to administer a nipping.

However, she managed to redeem herself in a most unexpected way. A chance encounter with He Who Will Not Be Mentioned in this Blog Again during the day resulted in the first meeting between my partner's mother and the young man who has her daughter's heart. I don't think he was aware of who she actually was, but he assisted her with some heavy shopping to her car. While most grateful for his aid, she didn't seem terribly impressed with the young man when questioned by my partner. "Isn't he beautiful?" my partner sighed. "Oh." replied her mother (in that dry tone of voice which only mothers can adopt), "Is that what you'd call it?" Hee hee hee. I managed the rare feat of looking uninterested while secretly rubbing my paws with glee.

Tomorrow I am going to Chelmsford with my partner, to help her choose outfits for her play. Some friends have been kind enough to email me and say that Essex is actually quite nice, so I have nothing to fear. I was a bit worried about being confronted with wild tribespeople in grass skirts, shaking spears and dancing around pagan altars, but no such horrors await - I understand that some parts of Essex even have electricity, telephones and running water. Remarkable. It will take us two hours to drive there, so I'm looking forward to a nice car ride and perhaps a beefburger from Burger King if I am a good boy.

My partner has been trying to encourage me to give something up for Lent. I searched my soul, but couldn't think of anything that I should live without. So I have decided to give up giving things up. It is very selfless of me, I feel. For her part, my partner is attempting to give up alcohol for Lent. I give it a day, two at most, before she is desperately trying to distill gin from my pee-wee.

Good night.