Tuesday 14 August 2007

(sigh...) I am mourning the loss of my vehicle of bloggery. Alas, my computer has died. It gave a few dying whimpers over the past weekend and then finally departed this life on Sunday. I silently grieve. A new computer unit should be with me by Friday, all shiny and upgraded, and hopefully with the files belonging to me and my partner salvaged and restored from the old drive. It is all most annoying. Much that I wanted to share with the blog has now passed from the forefront of my mind and, more to the point, I may have lost a number of pictures intended for my current educational series, "Jasper's Famous People of England", as well as the pictures of my wife Isolde. Oh bottoms.

Not wishing to suffer the neglect of my blog any longer, I despatched my partner off to work this morning with instructions to type up my dictated entry, and with a most explicit list of subjects to be avoided. Such as the fact that she met BC on Friday. She is not allowed to write ANYTHING about that. I have warned of dire consequences if this is mentioned. She must also gloss over the fact that she had a nice day out in London last week, without me. The treachery of it sickens me.

My partner's mother took her to visit Buckingham Palace, as a little treat to cheer her up. They had a very nice day, but I believe the pleasure of it was heightened for my partner when she found herself sitting opposite a handsome actor (unfortunately accompanied by wife and baby) on the tube. It was Patrick Baladi, who plays "Neil" in The Office. He and my partner had a light-hearted conversation, mostly involving his cute baby, and it was only upon parting that she realised who he was. Silly girl. Well, he was most pleasant, unlike some of the men she chooses to converse with.

The palace was very beautiful and interesting, as befits the home of a monarch, but a little small for my taste. I therefore instructed my partner NOT to make an offer for the house (we were going to offer a whole 50p as well, not to be sniffed at in our current financial predicament), and I shall cast around for something more suitable to my needs and position in society.

Now that I have barked about our financial situation, perhaps I should share how we stand at present. My partner's bank have been in touch with some nasty 'phone calls, which have been more than a little distressing. The IVA people have been in touch and told them to pack it in, and my partner is instructed not to answer their calls. The meeting to decide her fate is scheduled for 29 August. In the meantime, I am being a good Jasper and eating my biscuits properly, with the minimum of whingeing. Actually, our circumstances have ushered in a whole new range of eating delights for me and my partner. In order to eat more economically, my partner has been making a lot more food from scratch, buying plenty of fresh vegetables from the local greengrocer. After only a few weeks of this, my partner's skin appears more fresh and blooming, she is decreasing in size (which pleases her, but not me) and I get to try the most delicious little somethings in my capacity as official taster and kitchen assistant.

We are currently doing very well with soups. My partner bought a nice cookbook by the New Covent Garden Soup Company on Ebay for £3.99 and, although we cheat by using stock-cubes (naughty but cheap), the results so far have been hugely successful. The first crop was Cream of Fennell (£2.84 for six portions); a good spoonful was cooled and placed in my bowl - I immediately pronounced it to be delicious - and that provided a number of nutritious meals for my impoverished partner. Next up was Roasted Butternut Squash (£2.76 for six portions) and currently on the go is Celery and Potato with Cheese (£1.80 for six portions). We also have fiendish plans for some carrots and a bag of red lentils. So, despite our cruel poverty, we are dining handsomely indeed.

Once sad consequence of a sickly computer is that I was unable to celebrate my blogging birthday. For the end of last week heralded the passing of one WHOLE year since I began my blog. I am amazed I've kept it up for so long. Which is NOT a smutty reference to 'Little Jasper'. Never mind - I marked the day with a celebratory swim and game of sticks at Abbotstone with my partner. What more does a man need in life than that, after all?

Good day.