Monday 30 April 2007

My partner's mother has been tending to her garden and planting her borders of late, which means only one thing: my salad bar is open! Yayy!

I love sampling the different leaves on offer. Marigolds are my favourites. Added to my enjoyment is the fact that my munching causes much bafflement to my partner's mother. I shall take an incident last year as my example. Some time after having enjoyed a most delicious feast of marigold leaves, nibbling all the way down to the stalks and just leaving the remains of a few ragged leaves, I happened upon my partner and her mother surveying the ex-plants. "I just can't understand it," my partner's mother was saying, "How did those slugs get up there?" My partner spotted me hovering nearby - she had previously seen me eating the plants - "How did they get over the slug pellets?" My partner scratched her head. "I mean," continued my partner's mother, "I put extra pellets down around these new plants. They can't have got over them."
"Perhaps birds dropped some slugs onto the plants?" suggested my partner, with one eye on me. Good girl! My partner's mother shook her head and returned to the house, still looking puzzled. Heh heh heh... it was a slug that ate the plants; a black and white furry one... My partner made me promise not to eat all the plants again... I hope this year's are just as nice... heh heh heh...

My partner has entered me into two Pet Idol competitions, for which glorious prizes are on offer. She had to send off photographs of me, one of which will be in the local paper and voted on by the public. I am not sure I approve. The same paper is currently running a similar competition for human pups. The most recent issue had several pages of row upon row of pictures of various spud-faced nippers for readers to vote on. All a bit of a meat-market in my opinion. It isn't fair to judge on looks alone - after all, unless you are referring to me, good looks are no guarantee of quality. The most cherubic-looking infant could be an absolutely ill-mannered, repellant individual, whereas the most grotesque creature - basically a potato in a nappy - someone less attractive than Wayne Rooney chewing a lemon, could be the most good-hearted, well-behaved and witty little person. And after all, each babe, whether attractive or not, is loved by its family and friends. Can't it be left at that? Of course, should I win either of my competitions, I may have to re-assess my views.

Good night.