A new cat moved into my road today. It is ginger and looks like a small tiger. I don't like the way it has been looking at me. It dared to walk past my window while I was standing on the arm of a chair, looking out. I issued a volley of warning barks but it just blinked at me. To compound the beast's impudence, it merely sat on the pavement in front of my lawn and stared at me, seemingly aware that I could not break through the double-glazed window. I was extremely angry and gave a death-bark of such violent force that I inadvertently propelled myself backwards. There was more bark than chair and I fell onto the floor, yelping at the pain that immediately erupted in my bottom. I crawled back onto the chair in time to see the wretched cat walking slowly away, its backside twitching smugly at me. I am sure it was laughing. Well, I'd better not catch it crapping on my property, that's all I can say - otherwise it will find itself on the business end of my fangs. I'll teach it to laugh at another's pain. Oh yes.
Maisie (who comes to assist me during the day while my partner is at work) gave me my meal today. I finished it before my partner returned and tried to persuade her that I hadn't eaten all day. Alas, I was thwarted; Maisie had left a note. My partner did cut up a juicy nectarine for me though, so all ended happily.
Still no word from BC, which I find intensely pleasing. It is lovely to have my partner all to myself, without disgusting human males trying to smile at her and eat her face. I find that so nauseating. Doesn't she know what these men put in their mouths? I've seen the sorts of things they lick and eat and I wouldn't want their tongues anywhere near me. Nope - dogs are always the safest and most hygenic companions.
But enough. My bottom still hurts and my throat is sore from shouting. The cat is entirely to blame. Why is it always we innocents who suffer the most? Good night.