Sunday 5 November 2006

Not so many fireworks this evening, so I can write my blog in a clearer frame of mind. A nice lazy Sunday for me and my partner today, punctuated by a roast chicken dinner and a trip to Abbotstone. My partner won Dog's Bottom 8 - 2 (I was still feeling guilty about yesterday's biting). I met an extremely pleasant chap named Eddie - a Rottweiler. We were all set for a few games, but he had to go back to his partners, and we were heading home anyway. Never mind.

Some of the people who were kind enough to send messages to me while my blog was AOL's 'Blog of the Week' made the suggestion that perhaps I should be more tolerant of the hedgehog (our "friend" from 23rd October). With these nuggets of advice in mind, I ventured out last night to see if he was about.

Success! He was loitering in my garden having just finished "his" meal and was heading towards a dish of water. He froze when he spotted me, and seemed about to leg it off under the gate, but I sat down on the path (VERY cold - not a wise choice) at a respectable distance to show that I meant no harm. He looked at me warily and nodded briefly. I said I hoped he'd enjoyed his meal. No response. I said he was always welcome to dine here. Another nod. I'm talking to a hedgehog here - exactly HOW many of those anti-firework-fear pills did my partner give me?!?

I then asked the little hedgepig why he ate so much of my leftover food, as well as his regular diet. He still had food in his mouth and I couldn't make out his reply, which sounded like "Piping Station." Eh? I requested clarification and he swallowed his mouthful and said "Hibernation. I need to build up as much body fat as possible so I can survive my hibernation." Well, this was a new one on me. I've never heard of this business and I asked my new affable little chum to explain. As he ambled away, he replied "Folk like me sleep for the Winter." he said, "We make ourselves a little nest each. Our bodies shut down completely and we sleep until the Spring. We survive if we have built up enough body fat to last us through. Thanks for the tucker."

WHAT!!!????

Why was I not informed of this 'hibernation' affair before? Eight years I have lived in this wretched world, without any HINT of such a business. It is nothing short of unspeakable treachery on the part of everyone I've ever met and I am both saddened and disgusted at this betrayal. Grrrrowwl.

Therefore, let it be known that I have ordered my partner to get 87 large rump steaks from Nigel the butcher tomorrow. I will then build a nest out of cushions and my duvet and will settle in for some hibernation of my own. I have asked my partner to provide me with a selection of cookery magazines and then call back for me in the Spring.

The only proviso is that I be roused on Christmas Day for my turkey dinner (I'm not missing that) and the unwrapping of my gifts from Santa Paws. As for now, I have some serious training to do - that body fat won't build up itself.

Good night.