Accompanied my partner to work today, as Maisie was recovering from a minor operation performed yesterday. She works at a school and it is half-term, so nice and quiet. Was admired by all, and was very pleased to meet a lovely young lady, Menbi, who works in my partner's office sometimes.
The day was slightly marred, however, by a disagreement between myself and my partner. On the way home from work, my partner stopped at a supermarket, to buy some food for us. She also needed to put some petrol in my little green Corsa. It was at this point that the unfortunate misunderstanding occurred.
She put in the petrol and went to pay at the till in the garage. I waited in the car, like the good boy that I am. When she returned, she accused me of flagrantly stealing some of her shopping while I was alone in the car. This simply was not the case. It is true that, on her return, my head WAS in her shopping bag. It is true that a large bite had been taken from a packet of butter. It is true that, when we both examined the slightly-mauled packet, there WERE teeth marks in the butter. It is true that those teeth marks DID match the set and shape of my own fangs. And yes, I DID have traces of butter on my lips, fangs and whiskers. But this proves nothing - I am entirely innocent, and clearly the victim of some dairy-based conspiracy. These circumstances are merely incidental and, when put together, surely must prove that it was not me who took a large bite from the butter pat. The fault lies with the supermarket - they should not be offering for sale goods from which some unknown Staffordshire Bull Terrier has clearly taken a large bite.
I considered advising my partner to return the offending butter pat to the store and demand a refund, but the look on her face suggested that discreet silence might be a safer path for me to tread.
Ewan re-enters my property tomorrow. Actually, I see that it is just after midnight, so he re-enters my property TODAY. Now, there is a rogue who WOULD steal butter at the first opportunity. I shall warn my partner that it may be wise to leave the remaining butter in my possession, for safe-keeping. You can't trust anyone these days.