Wednesday 23 December 2020

Oh big, massive, annoying, HUGE, stinky CAT-WILLIES.

I am sorry (not really, but I will pretend I am).  There has just been on the news that my area is going to be in the new Coronavirus Tier 4.  That means I can hardly do anything except wipe my own bottom.

Mistress says that this isn't really true.  She can still go to the shops and buy my food.  I can still go and play in the park.  So that will be alright, I suppose.  I am very sad that I won't be able to go and see my cousin Doug this Christmas, but Mistress says it has to be.  Maybe next year.

I was happy this morning.  See here:

Before Tier 2 became Tears 4

Yesterday I helped Mistress to finish wrapping our Christmas presents.  Well, not quite finished - Mistress forgot one of my instructions for GrannaPea so she has to do that tomorrow.  Good.  That will give me some time to stage a full assault on our Christmas tree.  I know for a fact that there is at least one present wrapped up for me there.  Mistress has put it where she thinks I won't be able to reach it.  But that won't stop me from trying...

I am good at climbing trees.

Me, being good at climbing trees.

Can you spot me?

Today, with this virus news, I feel a bit like I am at the bottom of a big tree, looking up at high, difficult and spiky branches.  The view from the top will be lovely, but climbing up will be hard.  It might hurt.  It will not be easy at all, and sometimes I might fall back down a bit.  But it will be worth it in the end.  However hard and high the tree is, however awkward the branches are, and however small and clumsy I might be, I will never give up trying to climb it.  Please don't you give up either.

Hopefully I will meet you there at the top.

Stay safe, be nice to each other and keep smiling.

Lots of love from Gisèle x

Saturday 19 December 2020

I am doing my best to keep the candle of hope in my little "social bauble" Christingle alight.  Here I am with it:

I didn't eat the sweets.

Here I am, busy making it

(and not eating the sweets).

Mistress and I have just finished watching the Prime Minister's special broadcast to the nation about the new, even worse (if that was at all possible) type of Coronavirus strain and the cancellation of Christmas allowances.  They have got a new tier, tier 4 (or perhaps it should be tears), for London and the surrounding counties.  Not here yet, but I take no pleasure in this.  It is all especially sad and very worrying.  In an evening I usually sit in my own chair but for the special news broadcast I sat on Mistress's lap and she gave me a cuddle.  I do very much hope that human people are sensible and do what they are supposed to do.  After all, I have to behave myself even when I sometimes don't want to.  It is difficult at times, especially when being naughty is usually so much fun.  But I want people to be alright.  And there is a vaccine out and about now (they said on the television that over 350,000 humans have already had the first of the two jabs).  That is at least something to make a tail wag.

Mistress has bought all of the presents I instructed her to buy and they are all wrapped up now.  I did tell her that she must get some edible ones so that I could steal and eat them, but she didn't.  She says that I have already got my big chew AND the meat she got for me to take my tablets with (my last one tomorrow).  So I will have to be happy with that.

I am going to do my very best to keep wagging my tail and keep hoping for very much happier days ahead.  They will come, I know it.  And I am Gisèle-Stephanie - I can't be wrong.

Stay safe, be nice to each other and keep smiling.

Lots of love from Gisèle x

Tuesday 15 December 2020

The festive lights continue to shine and sparkle on my little furry head as I continue padding towards Christmas.  I am still getting a bit tired (extra walks at the moment, which I am not going to scupper by complaining about) but am feeling lots better.  Mistress is doing something the vet said to do called "weaning me off the tablets".  I don't mind this but I'm not pleased about the reduction in treats, which inexplicably seems to be going hand-in-paw with the weaning.  Mad.

Mistress didn't get arrested by the military police, which she is very pleased about.  This all started when I was at my favourite exercise place a few days ago and a MASSIVE Chinook helicopter (the one with two sets of blades) descended and hovered really close to us.  Mistress said it looked like they were doing something called a "training exercise".  It really was very low indeed.  It hovered a bit and then flew off.  I made Mistress take some pictures to put on here, but she said they were a bit blurry (most of her pictures are anyway).  But the very next day, almost at the same time, the Chinook came back again, very low and hovering the same way.  "Pictures!  Pictures!" I barked, jumping up and down, and Mistress did take some.  Then the Chinook rose and flew away, only to come back again and do the same hovering close to the ground stuff about 15 minutes later.  "Again! Again! Pictures again!" I yipped.  And then the Chinook flew over us, very close, in a circle and departed the scene.  Mistress put her camera away then.  I got cross but she explained that perhaps it was not a good idea to be spotted in the same (rather remote, GrannaPea has to drive us there in her car) location two days running, taking photographs of what was obviously a training exercise.  We went home then.  We haven't seen the Chinook again since, so I think we might be OK.  I would quite like a ride in a helicopter, I think.  But not a ride that ends up in prison.  I told Mistress that I wouldn't put the pictures on here and she said that was probably a good idea.

Barking of rides, the local steam railway has been running a special train at night time, all especially lit up with thousands of lights.  I have had a ride on the steam train and I liked it very much, but it was in the day time a few years ago and not a special Christmas train.  I have got a ticket for a special train that Mistress bought me, but not for the lights train and I can't use it yet.  Here it is:

Accio sweets trolley!

I wanted to use it to get a ride on the lights train but Mistress said it wouldn't work.  I was building up a fair head of steam myself for a tantrum, but then the train went past and it was so pretty that I forgot to be cross.  Here are some more of Mistress's dodgy pictures:

Here it comes...

Here it is!

There it goes...

Back at the station.

We walked back to GrannaPea's car through the churchyard (where my Mr. Roger, Mistress's father, has to be now) and I stopped to look at the church Christmas display.

Very nice.  But it was cold and 
I didn't sit still for long...

It was very nice to see the train and the Christmas displays.  I like to see that there is still light in all of these dark and miserable times.  Mistress says that, next, I can help her make something called a "Christingle".  My friend Luna (she only came to live in my road earlier this year and before that she was in a sad way in a foreign country. She is nice and friendly and I am glad she is my friend and that she lives nearby in a happy home) barks that she thinks a Christingle is an orange with a match stuck on it, but I don't think that she has ever seen a proper one, so I'm not sure.  I hope it doesn't tingle too much.  Tingles make me nervous.

Stay safe, be nice to each other and keep smiling.

Lots of love from Gisèle x

Saturday 12 December 2020

A week can make a lot of difference to a Parson Jack Russell Terrier.

Just last week I was on tablets twice daily, not altogether comfortable and my water intake was being measured day and night.  Now, I have been to the vet, told that I am well, I am allowed to stop taking the tablets and I have a handsome new harness to wear from the pet shop (to make things better for my neck, which is where some pain was).  The man in the pet shop ordered it especially for me and unpacked it and put it on me.  AND I got a little sausage from the treat box.  I think I will shop there again...

I don't have to go back to the vet again.  They did find something wrong with my jaw, which is a bit of a funny shape, but that is left over from when I was very young and was in a fight.  It's OK.  It doesn't stop me from being beautiful, hehehe... and I don't mind it.  Mistress says that if it isn't painful or making me unhappy then she won't force me to have a big operation to fix it.  I'm happy with that.  I like my face, and so do all of my husbands - and that's quite a wide cross-section of the local canine population.  The vet found the scar tissue from when I was impaled on a spike as well (that was my fault - I ran onto it when chasing a squirrel and was skewered from shoulder to groin.  Awful.  I had surgery for nearly six hours and only survived by a miracle.  I pulled myself off the spike unaided though (Mistress was running to help me when I just did it on my own and we hastened straight to the emergency vet).  That was years ago now and I STILL never even put a single paw in that bit of the woods again to this day).  But I only bark about it now because the vet found the bump where the entry-wound was repaired and sealed - I thought that was very impressive and it made me feel happy that she was very careful in looking for lots of things.  And so I think I will be alright.

There has been lots more to be cheerful about in my little town this week as well.  Sadly, because of the human Covid thing, Father Christmas couldn't visit the town centre and hand out presents to the local little children like he does every year.  So he and his helpers visited the streets instead!  With his sleigh on the back of a pickup-truck (he couldn't fly because the reindeer had to go back and isolate at the North Pole after Prancer developed a cough and couldn't taste his carrots), Santa and his helpers drove around nearly all the streets in the town.  They didn't stop, but a map and times were published and shared in lots of places and people could line the route by their houses and see him go by.  And all of the little children got a gift (a book and a little sack of chocolate coins - they even took care to make sure that children from the same house got a different book to their sibling).  It was very lovely to see and made me feel very Christmassy.

 

Santa's helpers and the great man himself pass by a very GOOD little girl
(who, I repeat, has been VERY good this year and should get lots of presents).

Sorry these pictures are blurry.  GrannaPea was overexcited at seeing Santa.

Not even Coronavirus can stop FC.
Thank you to the local PIGS Association for helping him.

I didn't get a present (you have to be under 7 to get one and I am not).  I thought my luck might be on the turn when Mistress chased after Santa's sleigh - but she only went to put some money in his charity bucket.  Ah well.  At least I have my lovely new harness to cheer me.  It would have been better if it was pink, but it is very comfortable and helps my neck to be OK, so I am happy with that.

 

This season's essential accessory.

So, apart from not getting a present from Santa (which I don't REALLY mind, as they are for the children, and I do alright for presents in general anyway), it has been a very happy week.

We have also recently had some near-misses with the local military (not to do with any ladies - I am a real, proper miss, not a near miss) but that will have to wait for another time.  I am just about to eat my dinner and then I am going out in a minute to look at a steam train go by, all brightly lit up especially for Christmas.  Happy days.

Stay safe, be nice to each other and keep smiling.

Lots of love from Gisèle x

Monday 7 December 2020

The day started early today for Mistress and me.  We had got as far as GrannaPea's house when our mobile telephone rang.  It was the vet.

They have tested my pee-wee.  I got a result of 38.8 (but I don't know what out of) and they said that normal was 34.  So not scary but it might mean that I have to have some more tests.  I have to go back and see another vet on Thursday and keep taking my tablets and Mistress has to measure how much water I drink every day.  I am not scared and Mistress is buying me something nice from the pet shop tomorrow as a special treat.  I might have to have another wee test in a bit but I think I will be good for the next one if it happens, because this one was OK.  Although it was funny to have Mistress chasing me over the field with the little yellow cup.

Today it has been very cold.  Mistress said it was cold enough for snow, but the man who lives inside the television didn't say that we were going to have any.  I like snow, but I would like it better if it wasn't so cold.

GrannaPea has been decorating the inside of the house for Christmas.  Not too many decorations, but some nice ones.  Not ones for eating, which I think should be very much essential to make anything right for Christmas.  And all of the other days in a year.  Mistress says this isn't (a) true and (b) going to happen.  She says I will steal and eat them all.  Me...? Oh no.  I am pure and good.  Unless no-one can see what I am doing, of course...

Here I am, modelling some of our festive items.  Mistress says she will say that I have "got tinsellitis".  I says she will not.  I thinks it is bad enough that these pictures even exist.

 

Help me...

Mistress couldn't take me for a very long walk today. Yesterday she slipped on a wet leaf and fell down some steps.  Now she walks funny and her knees are purple but I think she will be OK.  The last time she slipped and fell over was in the snow ten years ago, when she was out on a walk with my predecessor, the noble Jasper, and he didn't help by trying to console Mistress with the thought that at least she had a fat bottom to cushion her fall - here: Jasper lets himself down.  

Nothing like that this time - Mistress fell forwards, on to her knees, so not even her fat bottom could save her.

I am going to try to work on making my wee a bit more normal and also to try to look forward to seeing the vet again on Thursday.  It will all be alright.

Stay safe, be nice to each other and keep smiling.

Lots of love from Gisèle x

Saturday 5 December 2020

My attempts to subvert the recent pee harvest were not successful.  GrannaPea snaffled enough for the sample tube on my last pre-bedtime download.

This led to a disagreement between me and Mistress.  I made a simple polite request, not unreasonable.  But it was met with a very firm "no!".

"No?"

"No!"

"Oh, but - "

"No! No, Gisèle.  I will NOT post a photograph of a Perspex vial containing your urine on the internet!"

Mistress wouldn't argue with me any more. So I went and sat in my basket until I forgot why I was cross and got a headache.  I was allowed to have an extra bedtime treat and a cuddle when I finally went upstairs.  Mistress is trying to be smiling but I can see that she is still sad.  We gave my tube of wee to the vet's yesterday and the vet wants Mistress to telephone her on Wednesday next week.

I am happy with my tablets. They help me to feel better, but not TOO MUCH better like the last ones six months ago.  They made me see funny shapes and colours and sway and fall over.  Mistress told the vet about this and she wasn't very surprised.  Apparently they were something called "strong opiates" and can be too strong for the smaller dog.  But these ones are OK.  I have got to take them for another week and then I will hopefully be alright, like Mistress says.  I went out today, between the rain showers, said hello to the cattle and did a bit more on the hole I am working on by the trees.  Other dogs go there too, to the exact same spot, but my digging is the best.  Mistress says that I am wasting my time because there is no burrow there, it's just an old termite nest, but I know better.  For the rest of my day before I started to write this I have been buying some of my Christmas presents (online) and barking to my family.

Mistress's brother and sister-in-law made a videocall earlier today.  It was nice to see them and I was able to bark not only to my cousin Doug but also, in a rare appearance, to my cousin-in-law Mocha.  She lives with Mistress's sister-in-law's parents (they also used to look after the late Isolde, my predecessor Jasper's wife).  Mocha is a Springer Spaniel, like Isolde, and a very nice dog but she is also very shy and I don't see her very often.  Here is a picture of me and Doug and Mocha waiting for our Christmas supper two years ago.

Three wise dogs know that Christmas dinner leftovers are

LEGALLY the property of the dog. That's the ACTUAL LAW.

It was very nice to see them again, even if it was only on a screen and I could not sniff them.

I did ask but mean old Mistress refused to show them a picture of my pee-wee sample.  She said that they wouldn't be interested (they were) and that I should go to my bed because it was time for a lie-down (I did).

I did hear Mistress laughing about her efforts to capture my pee.  She showed her sister-in-law the yellow cup and they both agreed that it looks like a human thing called a "she-wee" (no idea).  See what you think.

The cup.

If you look at the label on the packet you will see that it is called a "Rocket Uripet".  I barked that this sounded like the name of a Russian Cosmonaut.  I asked if I would have to go into space, like Laika (poor Laika).  Mistress said I wouldn't.  But when I asked a few more times if I could have a picture of the tube of my pee, she muttered darkly that "it could be arranged".  I will not go on a rocket into space - but I AM going to work out how Mistress puts pictures on here for me and see if I can do it for myself.  She says I will not.  I will.

I am still enjoying looking at the Christmas lights.  The local steam railway is having special lit up trains for Christmas.  I want Mistress to take me to see them.  She says she might, IF I am good.  I will be good. Probably.

Stay safe, be nice to each other and keep smiling.

Lots of love from Gisèle x

Shhh…! hehehe...

Thursday 3 December 2020

Today was a day I did not want to have.

Not once - but twice - to the vet's. I have got some pain in my back and my neck.  I had some about six months ago but I got some medicine and it went away.  Yesterday it was sore and I was a bit sick, so today - when I was even more sore and in pain - Mistress took me to see a nice lady vet.  They took away some of my blood and did some tests on it (that was why we had to go back, to get the results).  The tests said that I was very well.  All except one.  That said that there might be something wrong with me called Cushing's Syndrome.  Well, it's probably either that or I have got something wrong with my spine. Oh poo.

Mistress is very sad.  She did cry.  So I did what she does to make me feel better when I does cry - I gave her a cuddle and barked that it will all be alright soon.  I don't think it helped very much, but it made me feel a bit better.

I cheered up even more when I found out that Mistress had to collect some of my wee to put in a tube for the vet to test.  The vet gave Mistress a special yellow cup to catch the wee.  On my walk, I was careful to do my first big wee before Mistress was properly ready with the cup.  She ran to try and catch some and almost tripped over her boots.  Too late!  Each time she thought I was about to do some more I skipped neatly out of reach as soon as the yellow cup came out.  I managed to develop the knack of almost squatting down to pee and then dancing out of the way at the last moment.  Mistress didn't look very pleased, though she did manage to capture a few millilitres of pee-wee when I couldn't avoid going any longer.  She said it wasn't enough.

I wondered how far she would go to succeed in her quest for my liquid gold.  I decided to see what would happen.  I led her into thorny bushes, by the principal site favoured by the cows for their prodigious and foul turds, into the area of the ant-hills but, to her credit, she stayed right behind holding outstretched the ever-present yellow cup.  It was all to no victory, however (for her at least). I edged too far ahead too quickly for my final pee, Mistress running after me holding out the cup, and then I didn't need to go again.  Mistress said that she will fill the chalice on my final pre-bedtime pee, when I will be on the lead and "can't escape". So I am to be thwarted anyway!  Never mind.  I hope the wee will tell that I am going to be alright.  I don't want to have to stop being me just yet.

Me, trying to be brave.  And looking for cow poos.

I am trying to keep my head thinking about nice things.  Like the Christmas lights in our little town.  They really are remarkably pretty this year and very much help to gladden a sorry heart.  Here is a picture of the main street in the town.

Thank you to the A-------d Pigs

(they put up the trees and this picture).

And, in our little town, they have asked people to put up light displays.  After people had signed up to do this, they (not sure who but I suspect church involvement) have produced a trail sheet for people to fill in with where they find the lights and there are little prizes for the winners.  Here are my lights.

So I am trying very hard to keep my eyes to the light and think about nice, pretty, bright things.  Even if I am a little bit scared.  But I am doing mostly alright, I am happy, I have got some very good tablets (not weird ones which make me sing, see funny things and fall over like the last ones).  It will all be alright soon.

In the meantime, stay safe, be nice to each other and keep smiling.

Lots of love from Gisèle x