But only because it gives me some people to bark at. I ran out through the French Windows onto my patio about half an hour ago, believing that I was barking at my neighbour Starsky as he returned from his walk - but it turned out to be the local Liberal Democrat. Ever the consummate politician, he didn't bark back, but asked me how I was enjoying the sunshine in my garden. What a pro. I once thought of standing for election myself - "The Black and White Party". Everything in black and white clarity; that would be my motto. My partner looked over my manifesto for me, and said that, perhaps, my march to Westminster and the corridors of power should be halted at the early steps.
She had nothing against my policies of bringing back free milk for schoolchildren and free meat for puppies. Nothing against my plans to stop assisting in the bombing of the world's poorer countries. And nothing even remotely against my professed intentions to punish all paedos, rapists and animal-abusers by hanging them with piano-wire. Banning all mention of Katie "Jordan" Price and Kerry "Chip-shop" Katona from UK media, extinguishment of all companies who try to avoid paying tax or who stitch-up their employees (listening, Kraft? Are you? Eh? EH?!?) and customary free contraception for all p*ssed-up chavs/Premiership footballers in nightclubs are all suggestions which sat well with my partner.
However, when she stumbled across my plans for the cats of this world, she was less assured. She started to frown when she read my proposed scheme for annexing the next cul-de-sac down the road and commented that things were beginning to "get dark" at the mention of ghettos and complimentary "holiday camps" for all felines. In fact, she became SO less-assured that she took away my manifesto and put it through her shredder. I had to go to bed early after that - to "think about how I should be nice to all creatures, INCLUDING cats." That took all of three seconds, but I still had to stay in bed without any supper-biscuit for writing mean things.
That's absolutely the last time I dabble in politics, I can assure you.
Good day.
5 comments:
For some reason, Sir Jazz, I doubt seriously this will be the "last time you dabble in politics." The subject is simply too ripe with opportunity for comment. Even I can't resist every now and then (and, truly, I DO try to resist... at least most of the time).
Now, however, I feel I must point out that it is currently very nearly 5:00 P.M. on your fair Island... and, yet, once again I am the very first reader to comment. How can that possibly be? Where is everyone else?!? Hmmmmm...
Loads of love to you & your Ruth.
XXOO, Lance
Here, Lance, over here! Been running (figuratively speaking) round garden centre buying plants for the garden on this glorious English day. Well, you never know over here, today might well BE summer.
Actually Jazz, I think Ruth was probably quite right to shred your manifesto. Do you know, there are some dogs who even share their house with a cat? There, mmm. Get along famously. Couldn't you re-write it with 'creepie-crawlies' or 'butterflies and moths' instead of cats?
love to you both,
Angie, xx
JJust thought I would pop back! Say hello. Have 5 minutes.
love from me, xx
Jasper, our cat Poohsee* was livid when I told her about your political agenda ( She is sharpening her claws as I type this). All six dogs and one cat manage to live peacefully in our household, thankfully.
:) Secretary
P.S. You know i had to changed the spelling of our cat's name into something more appropriate. I recently discovered that the original spelling meant something else ( and thus offend your sensibilities) LOL
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