Thursday 26 March 2020

Another day in lockdown.  I mean, it IS happening, isn't it?  It all seems so mad that at times I think I might have eaten some cat food by mistake and am dreaming.  But it does seem to be true.  Jasper would be able to explain it to me, I know.  But he isn't here.  So I just try to understand as much as I can and refuse to join in panic.  On my walk yesterday evening some dog had left a weemail post on a wall about how all pets were going to starve to death because our Masters and Mistresses were all going to die from plague.  I gave the post the respect it deserved and wee-ed over it.

Here are some top tips for staying sane in a household at present:

1.  Appreciate that your Mistress's foot is still not right after her hospital stay and is getting sore again.
   
2.  Don't wee on her things and especially not on freshly cleaned clothing.
   
3.  Don't watch stuff on YouTube that makes you cry.
   
4.  Smile at people and wag your tail.
   
5.  [Important] When your Mistress opens a bottle of pop to drink with her tablets, if it should 'explode' and shower her with fizz, do not react. Certainly do not laugh at her so hard that a little bit of nose-juice trickles down your snout and has to be wiped clean.

If you follow these simple steps you will find your life in isolation that little bit sweeter.

Here is my feelgood clip for today: https://youtu.be/nGeKSiCQkPw.  Actually, I'm not sure of the direction these clip choices are taking. Yesterday, very pro-feline; today, well... It's not my fault I went in the house.  Those towels WANTED me to pee on them; they begged me.  So did the T-shirt.  And the pants.*

*(Actually I might be lying about the pants.  But I DID pee on them, hihihihiiii).