Saturday 8 May 2010

Saturday 8 May 2010

So.  A Hung Parliament, then.  I always wondered whether they'd bring back hanging.

Seriously, however - what clearer indication can there be that it is now time to end the ill-starred democratic experiment with which we have indulged the human population for so long.  Now, with political and journalistic minds distracted over petty power-struggles, is the time for a revolution to restore the natural order of things.

Now is the time!  Arise my brothers and sisters!  I call upon you all, dogs; foxes; wolves; hyenas; Canidae everywhere:  join me.  Join me in marching to power and lifting a united leg on the Palace of Westminster.  Once more the Canidae will rule the world - as we surely know we must.  Too long have we indulged the humans with their corrupt and underhand "democracy".  No more. Now is the ti -
Oh balls!  My partner is coming.  Hang on.






And so Ewan, Fizzy and I danced around the toadstool, each waving an individual frond of Bluebells and laughing as we celebrated the woodland in Spring.  As we danced, I swear I heard the silvery song of wood-nymphs and dryads joining in our delight in the season... ha ha ha ha...

Right, she's gone again.

Now is the time, my Canidae brothers and sisters.  Once we have seized power, we shall show the world how it's done.  Cats and other irritating species will be relocated on an island somewhere "for their own protection", apart from the scoundrel Peaches, who will be publicly eliminated as an example to other villains.  Most cars and planes will be phased out.  Humans and other species permitted to exist will be grouped into packs and re-sited according to their usefulness.  Buzzards will be outlawed.  Statues to great Canidae throughout history will be erected in public spaces for the education and gratification of humans.  Wee-mail points will be provided in all libraries.  Education and medical care will be free for all puppies.  A program of spaying and neutering will be implemented for stray humans, before they are re-homed.  No more will w....

Actually, this is all starting to sound like hard work.  I think I'll go and lie down with a chew and my favourite blanket and let the human politicians sort themselves out.  They aren't that bad, after all...

More "Evolution" next time!

Good night.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

what no lance?

Angie said...

Are you OK Lance? Where is he then?

Oh Jasper, you cuckoo. If Ruth read that she must have laughed her socks off. Who would rank among the useful humans? Can I be one... please?....bagsy I be one. And Ruth. Well if you can have a revolution you must expect a counter revolution and SOMEBODY has to run it.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

UP THE HUMANS ..... no, that doesn't soumd right.

xxx

Lance said...

Sir Jasper, WHAT on Earth are you on about now? My computer contracts a dodgy hard-drive, and you go on some rant about revolutions and such. If I didn't know better I'd say you were getting an early start on Bastille Day celebrations. Oh wait... that's France. Never mind then.

As for the rest of you... I'm baaaaack. You'd better be on guard. It's game on for the "first comment" crown!! =)

XXOO, Lance