Wednesday 17 December 2008

Why is it? Seriously, I want to know. Can anyone tell me?

I want to know why, when one part of your life starts improving and going well, another part of it turns inexplicably to sh*t.

To illustrate my point, enter my partner.

She realises the truth about BC. Years of torment for her are now at an end and her renewed self-confidence has already attracted the attention of several new young bucks. So, naturally, things immediately start to go wrong for her with a sudden and unexpected recurrence of the violent ear infection which nearly claimed her life earlier this year.

Fortunately she was able to get an emergency appointment with a doctor, who prescribed immediate and regular application of strong drops which, I am happy to say, improved the situation before it required hospitalisation.

Immediately after that trauma, my partner scored a success with her appearance in the local pantomime. Her character was well-received and her performance appreciated. Happy days again. But be not calmed by this. Oh no. Less than 48 hours after her final triumph on the stage, we both (Jasper AND partner) succumbed to the worst case of food poisoning that I have ever known.

How can you deny that I have a point when faced with this overwhelming evidence? But it's the food poisoning that really wound me up - perhaps because I suffered as well. Some sly detective work by my partner identified the culprit. It was a pot of prawn mayonnaise sandwich filling, obtained from a leading supermarket. It was well within its use-by-date, but still it felled us. My partner made herself some sandwiches and then allowed me to lick out the little pot. Never again, I can tell you that right now. It was the only thing that the both of us had consumed. However, knowledge of the cause was scant comfort as we spent the day fighting each other for access to the bathroom.

The world has now stopped spinning quite so violently for us both, I am happy to say. Although we still continue to view the humble prawn with deep suspicion.

Away with these torments! I have not posted an entry for some time, due mostly to the events described above. But I am happy to report that there has been progress on the Ewan/Fizzy front. In my last blog posting, you may recall that Fizzy had reached the limit of her tolerance with the cerebrally-challenged mutt, Ewan.

Fizzy (left) and Ewan (right) in the work-yard sunshine today.

I greeted my two friends as they bounded into the office this morning. They both greeted me heartily, with none of the animosity of the previous occasion.
"How's things?" I asked.
"Brilliant!" said Ewan, with an enthusiastic wag of his tail. Fizzy corroborated this with a nod.
"And did you play the 'Ewan Sits in the Corner...' game?"
"Better than that!" cried Ewan, "We played, um, er, ummm..."
"We played 'Ewan Sits in His Basket and Lets Fizzy Watch The Weakest Link in Peace'." put in Fizzy, quickly. "Ewan is very good at it."
"Oh, really?" I grinned, winking at Fizzy.
"Yes! Brilliant!" grinned Ewan, wagging his big tail even faster, "And after ten minutes, I found a secret hidden magical level in my game."
"Ah yes, the secret hidden magical level." said Fizzy, looking quietly pleased with herself, "That was called 'If Ewan Doesn't Shout out Stupid and Pointless Answers to the Questions in The Weakest Link for the Rest of the WHOLE Programme Then He Can Have One of Fizzy's Biscuits'."
"I won TWO biscuits." said Ewan proudly.

"And tonight," said Fizzy, "I have told Ewan that if he lets me watch my programme without making a single sound, he can talk to me for five whole minutes afterwards about cheese." The pretty Labrador smiled and sighed. "Life is so much sweeter, Jasper. I never thought it would be so easy."

Ewan grinned happily.
"I love you Fizzy." he beamed, giving the hapless Fizzy a big, slobbery kiss while she winced and tried to escape.



So, job done - although I'll admit to feeling a twinge of jealousy...

Good night.