I had intended to delight and entertain you this evening with the progress Miss Roo and I are making on upgrading our little garden. Or the time we recently almost died from hypothermia during the longest drought/heatwave in UK history. Those delights will have to wait.
For today, we both had hospital hoedowns. Miss Roo fractured a finger and had to go for X-Rays and other assorted fun. I was ushered into the arms of Somnus so that a grass seed could be removed from a paw under general anaesthetic.
My poor, poorly paw has been nursing a low-level infection for a little while, without warranting undue attention until recently, when it came to something of a quite literal head.
Because of trauma procured under my previous masters, I have an innate terror of syringes and blades. I cannot help it not, and it always lets me down. I love the vets and the nurses, but as soon as I see the afore-mentioned implements, I am lost to all reason. I have to be given things called Gabapentin and Trazodone before any and all vet appointments and even they cannot always subdue me. Four types of muzzles have been trialled, but I'm too wily for them all. 20 seconds is the longest time it has taken me to release myself from even the most robust one. A useful talent, but not necessarily one I am ultimately proud of.
The growing swelling could no longer be neglected, however, and so steps were taken. Miss Roo was given two doses of Gabapentin and Trazodone, distracted me with a Sizzler and a firm cuddle and the needle loaded with knock-out-water was applied to buttock. Off I drifted, to be borne away to the waiting scalpel and merciful release from the seed-based torment.
 |
| Off I drop... zzzz |
For the price of a week's Dartmoor holiday, the wretched seed was successfully banished from my flesh.
Recovery is likely to be complete and I only have to bear the mortification of the Cone of Shame.
This would normally be completely unacceptable. However, I cannot deny the blessed relief now the seed has gone, so I am minded to be forgiving. I am still heavily under the influence of drugs, however, so this may be subject to further review... One happy outcome is that I must only have plain chicken for my dinner. And I will not countenance the administration of the follow-up drugs (syringe-based again) - so these must be administered by "other means". More chicken. This is acceptable.
After Miss Roo had collected me from my surgeons and put me gently to bed at home (and paid over most of her remaining money), she then took herself off to hospital for X-Rays and treatment of her fractured finger. This, she gratefully appreciates, is completely free of charge. We bless the NHS.
All shall be well.
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